i feel like an apology is at the same time necessary, long overdue, and implied in this post; i haven't established the best record as a steady-updater, but this last hiatus is by far my longest. what can i say? i moved and started a business. it isn't that i haven't had any free time, but that the precious little i've had is usually between the hours of nine and eleven pm, and i've been spending it watching friends re-runs and eating an entire bag of homestyle popcorn. i've been hiding from this blog, i suppose. i've excused myself because it's true that i am working pretty much all the time, and that the time i do spend at home on my computer is also time i'm exhausted. it's also partly, though, that starting a business is incredibly difficult, and draining, and i've been really pleased that it's brought out the best of me - my good work ethic, my skills as a baker, my patience as a teacher - but also the worst parts of myself, that were easier to hide and forget about working for someone else - stubbornness, crankiness, and a healthy dose of knowing-it-all (at least when it comes to pastries.)
so, i haven't written. i think it's a common problem for many bloggers, and certainly one for myself - i highlight the good and push the not-so-good stuff into the shadows. it's not that i'm being dishonest - putting something on the internet feels so public and permanent to me, and i don't want to use this space to complain, or document my shortcomings or arguments - this is a place where everything can be great. and while life is undoubtably great - i love what we're doing up here, i love where we're living and i love spending my days with my husband - not everything is sunshine and daisies. we're in a part of the country that is considered a "vacation destination" - that means winters are slooow. we moved up here, knowing no one - that means making friends has taken longer than i'm used to. and we are young and have limited funds - that means i can't have everything just the way i want it.
taking over an already-existing business is hard. i mean, i'm sure opening a brand-new business is just as hard, if not harder; it's part of the reason we bought one someone already did the hard work of, you know, making. but the other side of just-take-the-keys-it's-yours, start-making-money-the-first-day! is that you have a lot of customers who have expectations, and those expectations are what they've been getting for the last eight years - not what you want to do. We knew we wanted to change the name - something we're STILL in the process of - and I had lots of different pastries I wanted to try, and we wanted to change the look of the place to make it our own - but everything has to be gradual when people have an expectation, when they've been coming somewhere and getting something the same way for so long. We've finally made most of the changes we want, and I'm pretty proud of what the place has become.
i don't mean to say that before it was WRONG and now i'm doing it RIGHT. i have an immense amount of admiration and respect for the owners before us; what i've been fumbling through, trying to figure out for seven months, they ran smoothly for eight years. people loved the place before we ever showed up, and i owe them everything for that. but i had a very specific idea of what i wanted to do when we came here, and it's been a whole lot harder than i ever imagined it would, and it feels really, really good to start to get close.
we finally painted last week, and i've re-designed the pastry cases, re-written menus, and re-upholstered 40-something odd chairs with the help of my resourceful and determined friend ashlee. the menu is now written on a chalkboard wall; my collection of bundt pans graces another, and a friend built us a custom coffee nook to replace the giant plastic one that we inherited. to be honest, i didn't take many sweeping photos of the place before because i was a little embarrassed - it was just so far from what i wanted it to be. i regret that now, as i'm finally happy with the appearance and "after" photos are so much less dramatic without "before"s.
photos were taken after close on a sunday (today, in fact,) so the case isn't as robust and full as usual (nor is the restaurant, for that matter) and i have a fixed lens on my camera right now, which is unfortunate for interior shots, and now that i think about it, i'm not much of an interiors photographer, so used to shooting close-ups of food (or look-aways of outfits. . .) but i told myself it's time to stop making excuses and just write something. anything. it will make continuing to do so that much easier. in that spirit, i hope (but make no promises) to keep posting, sporadically, but not as rarely as this. there is so much to say, and show - i'm learning so much and making so much every day. life is challenging, exciting, and great. it is full of things that i love. and i consider myself very, very lucky for that.
xo audrey
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